You always pushed me away even when we were together. There were times when I really wanted to be with you yet you told me not to go see you for no real reason at all. I wanted to visit you where you study so I can see what the people you go with there are like. I guess I should have risked it. But I did not want you to get mad at me or anything. So I just obeyed. I just waited. Then, now that you are gone I have been pushing my efforts to the limit because I want you back so badly. I still love you after what you have done. There is no changing that. I offered to wait even when it seemed unlikely. Right now it has sank in to me that you really are not getting back. We chat so rare, texts and calls seem impossible. After you have pushed me away from you I just felt so alone. I need you in my life yet you left me and even pushed me away…